Lexapro withdrawal part two.
We’re in the depths of anti-anxiety/depressants withdrawal and it is like weaving a fucking tapestry of emotion in my brain.
Every single emotion is incredibly heightened. Happiness, sadness, anger, annoyance, nervousness…. why is there only one good emotion in there?
Basically I feel everything in extremes right now because my body isn’t used to regulating its own emotions. Any emotion that does arise, is way too overly stimulating, eventually leading to that overexcited, anxious state and I don’t know how to calm it down so it just turns into anger and frustration.
I am very good at taking this out on others (but only the ones who deserve it obv…).
Something I failed to mention in my previous post is that when I was on lexapro last time I was so high all the time. Not drugged high, just the college stoner phase high. So I didn’t experience this level of anxiety and frustration coming out of it. Oh I also didn’t lose my sex drive while taking lexapro because weed does a pretty good job of helping with that imo.
Anyways, I am a responsible adult who no longer takes part in such activities. So I’m just constantly telling myself “it’s the med withdrawal, you don’t actually hate that person.” Kind of in a similar way to when you’re PMSing. It’s not very effective and you’re probably giving yourself an ulcer holding all of that in. But hopefully this phase is almost over.
Last night I was booking my flights for my trips to San Antonio and Seattle in a few weeks. Saw that one of my flights connect through Vegas, so I bought a Groupon and now I’m gonna stay in Vegas for a night. These manic impulsive decisions run my life currently. Sometimes they’re super positive, sometimes they drain your bank account, sometimes it results in your mom looking at you like a crazy person…. it’s a toss up.
Am I in a borderline bipolar state currently? Google sure seems to think so.
more updates to come…