Hi, I’m Kelsey *Imaginary group repeats back “Hi Kelsey”* and I was labeled bipolar. Interesting that I just used the word label instead of diagnosed. OK so before I get into bipolar I might have just derailed my entire thought process by using the word “labeled” why did I use that?
I don’t want more friends. I am happy with the ones I have. I hate that society has turned me into this person who is nice to new people and lead them on to think we can be friends but then like…..I am going to flake out on all your hangout invites. I’m going to text you back a few days later when I finally feel like responding. I don’t want to sit through awkward new friend small talk. I don’t want to like you and let you into my friendship circle because then you’ll be another person that will try to make plans and make me leave my house. Hard pass.
As I sit here, 4 vodkas in and realizing I haven’t written in a few days, I am reminded of my deep fear of space and the cosmos. And how awful space travel seems.
Holy fucking shit if you have not seen this show on Hulu yet get on mother fucking board because this shit is ddooppppeeee as fuck. When I first glanced the trailers I was like “ok cool, an amish society and shit.” Then, I had a friend correct me and say it’s post apocalyptic which is right up my fucking alley and it should be on your must watch list asap.
Ah white noise machine you serve me well. But not well enough. I am awake. My foot itches. Why? Bug bites. You were outside this weekend. Lots of bug bites. Wait my legs itches. So does my arm. Hold please while I scratch down my body.
My new meds are making me like that chick on the show medium who see crimes before it actually happens. Two days ago I was driving to kickball in my super cool 2001 hand me down minivan. The car is old. So old. The tires have needed to be replaced for months…..but who has money (amirite or amirite) so they just continue to dry rot or whatever tires do. Pretty sure it needs oil and transmission fluid too. Whatevs. So as I’m driving on the highway I start to smell smoke. I am overwhelmed with anxiety and think my car is overheating and about to blow up. IDK I just feel that way. Ok? OK. So I’m freaking out that my car is going to blow up but then finally make it to kickball and totally forget about it. GET READY FOR THIS SEE THE FUTURE MOMENT.
Ah the season of graduation is upon us. A time to remember your years through rose colored glasses as if you enjoyed every moment spent at your respective college or high school…oh how easily we forget the mountains of papers and projects and remember only the times spent in your friend’s basement splitting a bottle of malibu (which was, of course, bought by someone’s older sibling and they way overcharged you for it).